Defending Ourselves!

We must always look at our role in conflicts with others. Too often we are driven by our need to be right to see the truth about who we were and how we were reacting to someone telling us that we were at fault in hurting their feelings. Some of us are driven to perfection and we cannot let another person’s opinion put us  in the wrong only making us more defensive. This can happen way too often to us and it leaves us with being unapproachable and hostile.

In order for us to grow and see the truth, we must first listen to what someone has to say about our behavior no matter how painful it is for us to hear. How do we grow if we cannot listen to someone else’s view of what has transpired? When the heat of our anger starts to rise in us, we must take deep breaths to cool ourselves down so we can hear the other person. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they are right about us, but we must hear them out for they have been hurt by what they perceive as our behavior.

Listening is the best tool that we have in trying to understand why someone feels the way that they do. Without that ability, we end up in conflicts with the other person without giving them a chance to voice their feelings. We must not judge how they feel but be open to their feelings for this is the only way that we can determine right from wrong.

Being defensive only creates more conflict rather than finding a right resolution!

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