How do we really know when it is time to leave a relationship? The thing is we often have the ‘flash’ of feelings early on that, this is not the relationship that we really want but something.Whether it is our fears of being alone or our own ”laziness”, we stay! We seem to put ourselves through such extensive pain either by trying to love someone that we do not or avoiding love by picking ‘stupid” arguments with our spouses or partners just to keep the distance. Are we being really selfish at this point by keeping something going that we do not believe that we want anymore?
Yes, we are selfish! We have made everything about ourselves and we do not even take into consideration how the other person might feel. Do not think we truly feel guilty for if we did we would want to either be direct and end their pain by letting them know that we just do not have those loving feelings of being in love or commit ourselves to really working on the relationship. How unfair is it to turn it on the other person that it is because of something they did that helped us decide that we did not want to be there anymore? We can be so selfish! Remember we committed to being in this relationship. We did fall in love with this other person and we did not think that in the beginning, we would leave it after a few months. Perhaps we didn’t work on it at all!
We need to understand what a commitment really isn’t. It isn’t putting the blame for what goes on on the other person; we can fault with anything that they do in order to create distance.It isn’t talking to others about intimate details of our life and putting our spouse or partner down. IT IS NOT INFIDELITY! It is not blaming and it is not pitying the other for we feel in a “better” place than they do. These are all methods and feelings that kill a commitment.
It really is time for us to figure out who we have been in a relationship and stop placing all the responsibility on the other as if it were their fault that the relationship did not work. Learn to “clean” up our side of the street and be responsible for our own actions and our own shortcomings. Who told us that we were a day at the beach to live with!