Why is it that we can believe that we forgive someone who has hurt us and we feel we can get on with our lives and before we can even recognize it, we feel the same ugly hurtful feelings from that same person all over again? Do we really forgive someone or is it an image that we want to portray to the world around us that we are forgiving people? “I forgive you” is so easy to say and yet so hard to live with.
Whenever we have been hurt by someone else, the pain can go so deep that it is only the surface of us that are saying “I forgive you,” but the wound goes so deep within our psyche that we can not see how far into us the pain goes. All the other person has to do is say something to us that we do not like or agree with and we can experience that older pain within us. it just pops back at us and here we are once again, unable to forgive that person. We go through the original hurt once again.
Perhaps the answer to this isn’t about forgiveness but about the ability to let the pain go. We must work hard on recognizing that all we can do for ourselves is to understand that at times there are things that we are not able to forgive and at that point, it isn’t about the other person, it is about our inability to let go of the pain. We can no longer blame the other person for how we feel but we just need to stop the feelings before they become a sentence in our heads that reignite our pain!